How to work on your own personal best

Hey you,

I don't know quite when it started or ended but there was a time there when I was obsessed with personal development. I bought books. I listened to podcasts. I tried the programs. I was familiar with dozens of names in the "industry" of self-help and could tell you their talking points. And there was never an end in sight because that's the idea.

In retrospect, it's a bit odd. And boring. I told myself I was devouring all the content available to become the best version of myself I could be, but honestly, I was just becoming the best personal development fan I could be. There were diminishing returns. It's the main criticism of self-help - if it really helps, you wouldn't always need it.

But people that like personal development like to recall what speaker/author Jim Rohn said about the motivation to be better - it's like bathing, we recommend it daily.

This is no exposé on personal development. It's a good thing, and however you get there is fine by me. But what I've started to explore more is what Mark Manson said so eloquently in his blog post The Feedback Loop from Hell:

“Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience. It’s what the philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as “the backwards law”—the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there.”

What now - don't pursue anything? That's always been the noodle-scratcher for me.

I have a condition. Whenever I have free time, I walk around my apartment, trying to think up what I "should" be doing, as if somewhere there is some magical combination or decision that would unlock the perfect form of Dan Scharch.

I know there are definitely arguably better ways to spend my time than others. It would be better for me to cook myself some dinner than shoot up heroin. But you know what? My mind finds a way - "But what if trying heroin is the experience you need to unlock your full potential. Hear me out: Going to rehab could eventually mean you help hundreds, no, thousands of people find sobriety too." It's kinda cute that my mind takes every experience to the end, and it's also kinda not.

And I say it like that because I feel like my mind automatically does that. Decisions aren't so easy because I default to those lines of thinking. And no amount of personal development has helped. It makes me wonder if, as Manson suggests, I'm chasing down some clarity that's not right for me. There may be wrong ways to live, universally, but there is no right way for everyone.

Tim Ferriss wrote a 700+ page book called Tools of Titans where he outlined the habits and mindsets of the most impressive and productive people in the world. But what he also was able to show is how they differ. Not all of them meditated in the morning. Not all of them found success early in life. Not all of them are one thing or the other.

With that being said, I'm working on my personal best and I hope you are too. There is nothing wrong about that.

Now, let's take a journey through some of the best finds of the week:

Inc.com - Here's What Happened When I Complimented Everyone I Met for an Entire Day

Daniel Sloss' latest HBO stand-up special X packs a honest punch for the modern day dilemmas, and you're laughing your ass off so hard you don't see it coming. Definitely going to need to watch this one (and his others!) again.

The end of October marked my sixth month reselling and I've been lucky enough to learn more and make money in the process. Check it out the latest monthly review.

Wisecrack Edition - MINDFULNESS: Is It Deep or Dumb?

I'm extremely guilty of quoting too many people in my blogs. I was intrigued when Derek Sivers provided an alternative - Don’t quote. Make it yours and say it yourself.

Hot Ones always brings the heat (haha) with their in-depth, spice-filled celebrity interviews. It takes something special to rise above the rest, and Paul Rudd does for many reasons. You will not be disappointed.